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Joke of the Day

"It's not fair how teenagers today can avoid social interaction with family by staring at their phones I had to show my contempt by grunting"

"Marijuana does have an adverse effect on my spelling skills. It's to the point that Google even knows when I'm high."

"I found my first gray pube the other day. It was in a kebab."

"I'm great at drinking and driving but I would never do them at the same time."

"We call her Skippy... because she's so easy to spread."

"How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world? Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go."

"There are few moments sadder than when they ask at the fast food drive-thru if you want to try the new featured item and you do."

"""Why is your blow up doll half deflated?"" ""She was getting a little heavy.."""

"Why did the dog bark? because its a dog"

"I use the phrase ""when I win the lottery"" a lot for someone who never buys any lottery tickets."