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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a disabled person during a zombie apocalypse? Meals on wheels..."
Next Joke
"nsfw Was told this by my Italian coworker. Ever hear of an Italian tire? Dego here dego there and when they go flat dego wop wop wop!"
"How many eskimos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. Obviously."
"What do you do after raping a blind, deaf and mute girl? Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone."
"TIL of an incident during the Cold War when American ships, fearing a Soviet attack, nearly fired on a friendly vessel. Whoops, wrong sub."
"I used to hate facial hair... but then it grew on me."
"A touchy-CNN reporter, while interviewing a Marine sniper asked, ""What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?"" The Marine shrugged and replied, ""Recoil."""
"I was an alcoholic for seven years. Today marks my eighth."
"My OCD brings all the boys to the yard, where they're sanitized and counted before I wash my hands of them."
"1)Buy a plastic phone 2)Walk next to a stranger 3)Whisper into phone ""It's done. He's dead."" 4)Remove batteries & throw phone in a trash can"