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Joke of the Day

"What do you do after raping a blind, deaf and mute girl? Break her fingers so she can't tell anyone."

"Why do shoes get sad... Why do shoes get sad when they lose their matching shoe? Because they lost their solemate"

"I call my kettle Jim Carey, because it brews-all-my-tea."

"I'm always surprised how quickly ""you're so funny"" turns into ""everything is a fcuking joke to you."" (usually about 3 months)"

"putting a sweater on your dog?? lol what's next, another harmless thing that only bothers me because i'm lonely"

"What's an 80 year old pussy smell like? Depends!"

"My friend just landed a boob job the perks are great"

"This orange juice says shake well before drinking. *shakes juice and puts back in fridge then opens beer"

"I'm so done with Apple products! Their phones can't do jack..."

"A man is suing a hardware for selling him a bucket with holes in it. Personally, I don't think his argument holds water."