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Joke of the Day

"How is Chinese airport security like a Russian woman? They'll fuck anybody with an American passport. I say this from experience."

"Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his cock out of the chicken."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tits a lot."

"[job interview] Interviewer: ""Do you have any questions for me?"" Me: ""How strong is the wifi signal in the restroom?"" Interviewer:"

"i cant believe ashton kutcher made the apple computer and iphones. thank you ashton"

"Growing up my girlfriend was called the human calculator... but that's just because 14 year old boys would have her do handstands so they could see her boobies."

"My buddy told me he had a threesome with his girlfriend and her twin....... I asked how he could tell them apart. He said ""Her brother has a mustache."""

"According to the employee handbook, I only require to show up sober. It doesn't say I can't drink once I get here."

"Have you heard the news about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!"

"How was copper wire invented? Two Armenians were fighting over a Penny."