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Joke of the Day

"Justin Bieber's to be the new face of Calvin Klein. Awful news given he does such a terrible job of being the current face of Justin Bieber."

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? ""I don't know why you're shaking...she's gonna EAT me!"""

"Hey, Can I take you to Hogwarts? Because I'm 9 and 3/4."

"What did the blonde medical student die from? An aneurysm."

"""Where'd my boomerang go?"" Under there ""Under where?"" Hahaha I just made you say ""underwear"" *boomerang hits me in the back of the head*"

"You're following a man who once stole someone's garbage can lid and used it as an umbrella. That's on you."

"The thought of Aortic Dissection just tears me up inside."

"What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced."

"""I deleted that tweet because I've really grown as a writer in the past 7 minutes and it's just not up to my current standards"""

"The door is not ajar. It's a door, silly!"