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Joke of the Day

"The size of penis doesn't correlate to the number of sex one will have Proof: the two largest populations in this world: China and India."

"Does shaking the vending machine count as working out?"

"If I ever opened up a nail salon, I would definitely name it ""Handjobs""."

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a plane crash, who survives? No one, the was a major gas leak, and someone lit a match, and the plane exploded, killing everyone inside."

"I have no respect for mules. Everything they do is half-assed."

"Nice try Jehovah's witnesses, but dressing up like the police and saying you have a warrant isn't going to get me to come to the door."

"Why is history called His story? Because it's written by the Victors, not the Victorias."

"My doctor says I'm not eating a balanced diet...that's absurd. I eat as many cookies with my left hand as I do with my right!"

"What did the priest say to the child at the playgrounds? Its a slippery slope."

"Holy shit, remember rhymes with September. If no one thought about putting that in a song, I'm gonna be rich."