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Joke of the Day

"If I ever opened up a nail salon, I would definitely name it ""Handjobs""."

"Give a man a fire, and he will be warm for a night. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life."

"So I found a hair in my pasta.. AN ANGEL HAIR! lololol"

"We should call people who vape... *vapires*"

"oh these 2 bleeding dots on my neck? uhhh no i'm not a vampire, some crazy dude stabbed me with 2 pens. hey can you toss me a bloodweiser ;)"

"there is nothing wrong with being nice, but there is something wrong with being nice to people."

"When Balls Disappear What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear? Answer: You Blink Your Eyes."

"Looking out the hospital window while mom is resting on bed. That was either dad or superman falling of the roof."

"I got my PHD in scatology today. Reading all of those YouTube comments was a pain though."

"Why did the Redgaurd's toe hurt? His Hammerfell"