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Joke of the Day

"""exorcise"" and ""exercise"" sound alike because they're both the work of the Devil"

Next Joke
 
"My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight. She needs to lighten up."
"I used to be confused by the quote ""with age comes wisdom"", but now that I'm older, I think I've finally figured it out."
"I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode... I asked, Are you two an item?"
"Knock Knock Knock knock Who's there? A man with short-term memory problems. A man with short-term memory problems who? Knock knock"
"What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party? I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor."
"""I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!"""
"When I was a kid my family was so poor my parents were forced to give my imaginary friend up for adoption."
"I asked for her number she said sex sex sex I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight! I said, Wow! Then her friend said, She means 666-3629."
"Thank you for clarifying that you'd bite me with your teeth, my mind was running wild with all the possible things you could bite me with."