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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Knock knock Who's there? A man with short-term memory problems. A man with short-term memory problems who? Knock knock"

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"[3rd grade] bae: come over me: no bae: my parents aren't home. me: but we're only 7, that's awful parenting. bae: but- me: AWFUL. PARENTING."
"My girlfriend said that a sneeze is 1/10th of an orgasm. ""That's a bullshit myth,"" I said. ""Prove it,"" she replied. After sneezing ten times I said, ""See? I'm still awake and you're not pregnant."""
"I made a popular girl laugh today... by asking her out."
""" Wake up, little Suuuzzie, wake up "" - The Everly Brothers accidentally kill another hooker"
"What did the raped dog said to the PETA activist? Thank god I am not an African kid."
"How does a French lady hold her liquor? By the ears"
"Yesterday my date asked me ,"" how do u view lesbians"" apparently in Full HD was not the right answer"
"It is impossible to simultaneously keep up a) hope and b) with the Kardashians."
"i order a pizza online and under special requests i write: ""tell me the meaning of life"". when the door bell rings there's only an empty box"
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