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Joke of the Day

"I used to be confused by the quote ""with age comes wisdom"", but now that I'm older, I think I've finally figured it out."

"I just finished my first week of work at ThyssenKrupp. I'm already seeing great opportunities for upward mobility. All in all, it's been a very elevating experience."

"What do you call an elf who lost all his toys? Legolas"

"IamA Bing search engine AMA Please. Just ask me something."

"A midget was escaping prison... A midget was escaping prison. I watched him as he climbed over the fence. On the way down he smirked at me. I thought to myself, ""well that's a little condescending""."

"Why did ginny make harry get rid of his invisibility cloak? He kept coming out of no where"

"me: i'm really glad we met, i feel like I can completely be myself around u. u had me at hello kidnapper: pls stop talking"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? -Walking. -JK, Rowling"

"Have you seen www.indecisive.com? Yes and no."

"JACOB MARLEY: 3 ghosts will visit you! ME: do u count? JM: what ME: you're a ghost. Do u count? JM: dude this the kinda shit they don't like"