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Joke of the Day

"When Captain Picard's sewing machine broke he brought it to the repairman and said... ""make it sew."""

"My solution to everything is fire. How do I get out this stain? Fire. How do you fix a car? Fire. How do you break up with someone? FIRE!"

"""Maybe again but kind of bad?"" - sequels"

"The fact that Americans eat cookie dough and cake batter shows that we can't even wait until it's done cooking anymore."

"Last rites? Over my dead body..."

"How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to change it, one to take pictures and four to make t-shirts for the event."

"What do you call A Bohemian Lumberjack? ...A *Blogger.* ( I'll see myself out.. :)"

"Q: What would you call an Arab who owns a harem of cows? A: A milk sheik!"

"A Neutron walks into a bar ""I'd like a beer,"" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. ""How much will that be?"" asks the neutron. ""For you?"" replies the bartender, ""no charge."""

"What do you call a pickled female deer? A dilldoe."