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Joke of the Day
"I want to treat you like my big toe and bang you on every piece of furniture in the house."
Next Joke
"Windows - the only operating system that is compatible with all viruses."
"what do you call a pissed off group of door handles? An angry knob"
"A man walks up to two nuns and reveals himself to them, one had a stroke... ... the other couldn't quite reach."
"Why do big trucks have nuts on the trailer hitch, but no shaft? Because the prick's behind the wheel"
"The way I react when my alarm clock goes off can best be described as ""17-year-old girl being denied a curfew extension."""
"50 shades of hay [50 shades of hay](http://imgur.com/YRGs7P0)"
"What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!"
"Don't answer the door after dark because it might be an orphan in a basket and ain't nobody got time for that."
"She said she hates my analogies and wishes I would communicate like a normal person, but that's like telling a samurai not to use his sword"