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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you crossbreed a negro with an octopus? I've got no idea, but sure as hell would be useful at a cotton farm."

"I'm scared. I have this weird stabby pain in my chest and it really hurts and..Dorito. It was a Dorito in my bra."

"Yesterday my girlfriend started to smoke... So I slowed down and added some lube."

"I bring our baby to the bar so I can throw her at people and slurp down their c**ktails while they're trying to catch her."

"Two crows are loitering in the park; why did they get arrested? Attempted murder."

"The first time I've had sex was like the first time I rode my bike My dad was holding me from behind"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? [well ..](/s""The pizza doesn't scream when it's in the oven"")"

"If a gay guy gets paralyzed... Is he a fruit or a vegetable?"

"Women go crazy only once a month for 30 days."

"I fondly remember the time I found a cure for dementia. Ahh......That brings back memories."