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Joke of the Day

"I bring our baby to the bar so I can throw her at people and slurp down their c**ktails while they're trying to catch her."

"Before you unleash her inner goddess, try to find out if she's channeling Aphrodite or Medusa."

"He's hot, I swear! Hang on, let me find another photo..."

"How did the scarecrow win the award? Because he was outstanding in his field."

"As I walked down an alley today, I was accosted by what I thought was an angry, needy turnip. It turned to be a ruder beggar."

"You know the 4 quarters Lebron joke, how about the Dirk one? I asked Dirk for change for a dollar; he gave me 4 quarters and a dime. He always gives any extra 10%."

"How do you castrate a priest? Kick the altar boy in the back off the head"

"Reddit, You are too cool... ...you give me frostbite."

"Did you know tank tops were illegal until the U.S constitution came out? It gave people the right to bare arms."

"The world would be a better place if everybody drank alcohol. It would get even better if some of them choked on it."