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Joke of the Day
"Dark humour It's like a child with cancer.... It never gets old."
Next Joke
"If it talks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then you gotta ask yourself Why the fuck is there a duck in my room?"
"How does the female reproductive system like to order its eggs? Ovaries-y"
"Today's menu: 1 gallon of attitude, 3 cups of sarcasm, 2 tbsp of leave me the hell alone, and a generous cup of shut the f*ck up!"
"One thing I've learned about getting older is that not everything is as how it appears. Or I need new glasses. Again."
"My To Do List: 1. Buy a flat screen TV. 2. Hang it on a wall. 3. Put a tub of boiling water under the TV 4. Watch ""The Ring"" and see tht bitch fall when she crawls outta my TV."
"I woke up last Friday to find a letter from West Africa in my e-mail. Saturday morning, there was one from Nigeria and today, there was one from Jamacia. I have the feeling I am being black mailed...."
"I only eat free range chicken because I only eat food that was given the illusion of freedom before it was murdered"
"FIRST PERSON TO USE AN IRON: This battle hammer does wonders for my enemies' shirts!"
"What came first? The chicken or the egg? Clearly the chicken. How would an egg orgasm?"