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Joke of the Day

"Just saw two 10 year old boys sharing a cigarette. I was really shocked and upset so I gave them money to buy a pack."

"My ""friend"" Adam gave me an electric toothbrush for my birthday. Completely unnecessary. My gas-powered toothbrush still runs fine, ""Adam."""

"""Hey, I finally watched that movie you've been wanting me to see..."" ""Oh, so you finally saw Back to the Future?"" ""Sure did!"" ""It's about time!"""

"Who is the director of the first wireless movie? Christopher No-LAN"

"When I was young I wanted to date a doctor for money. Can you believe how superficial I was?!? Now I would date him for the prescriptions."

"Why was ""C"" afraid of the rest of the alphabet? Because they were ""Nazis""!!!! eyyyyy :D"

"Today I saw two little kids fighting. As the only adult nearby, I had to step in. Those kids didn't stand a chance."

"What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds? Government bonds mature over time and earn money"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? At least 7. One to screw in the bulb and the others to form a support system. They would also like you to know they're vegan."

"8 hrs sleep: So refreshed 6 hrs: Feeling fine 4 hrs: I will rip your head off for a minor transgression 2 hrs: Why is my boss a Minotaur"