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Joke of the Day

"Two 5th graders are doing Math homework. One tells the other, ""I don't know what 99 is in Roman numerals."" The other lowers her glasses and says, ""IC."""

"I'm taking my mother-in-law to the new Resident Evil movie because she's staying with me and I love subliminal messages."

"What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence *edit: I kinda thought it was funny, and* poof *it has 3000 upvotes. Thanks for the motivation*"

"How's the elevator business? It has it's ups and downs."

"I met a smelly man who had a way with words He was a pungent"

"A code tester walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders ten beers. Orders 2.15 billion beers. Orders -1 beers. Orders a nothing. Orders a cat. Tries to leave without paying."

"What did Tennesee?? What Arkansas.."

"Data Today, a CS professor asked us what data is. Apparently, even though technically correct, the plural form of datum was not the answer he had in mind..."

"[Ouija board] O spirits, let me talk to m- C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I *squints* What the heck? A 3G board?"

"When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, ""A very good doctor""."