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Joke of the Day

"This hammock is the most relaxing thing I've ever had slingshot me point blank into the ground."

"Two cows at the North Pole... One turns to the other and says ""Don't know about you but I'm Friesian""."

"Who called it the NHL instead of the Just Ice League"

"Pope Francis will bring a rabbi and a Muslim leader with him when he travels to the Holy Land this week. Or as bartenders put it, ""We've been expecting you."""

"How are beer nuts like deer nuts? You can find a small bag of each under a buck."

"Asian Keanu arrives at party. Asian Keanu gets bored. Asian Keanu Reeves."

"*yawns so wide a bird flies into mouth* *closes mouth* *looks around to see if anyone noticed* *swallows bird* *acts like nothing happened*"

"Why can't you have two Apple watches? Because then it would be a pair (pear)!"

"I just posted ""How do I find answers using Google.com?"" on Yahoo Answers. Stand by while the internet divides itself by zero."

"My little sister is bringing her black boyfriend to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving so I'm bringing popcorn and a comfortable chair."