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Joke of the Day
"29 months? Yeah, no, I meant how old is your kid in HOURS."
Next Joke
"Tried to take a photograph of some fog Mist"
"What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ? Big holes all over Australia !"
"If you're able to read this, thank a teacher! If you can do busy work while wasted and watch an unrelated video, thank a substitute teacher!"
"Two Whales are Sitting at a Bar One whale looks over to the other and says ""Eeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooouuuuuuu"" and the other whale looks at him and says, ""Man you're really fucked up"""
"My boss always gets angry at me when we golf together, for some reason. All I do is compliment him on his subpar golfing skills"
"My dad said if he practiced yoga long enough he could pick up a pencil with his toes. He then proudly mentioned he would be writing footnotes."
"What do you say if you meet a toad ? Wart's new !"
"Girlfriend mentioned she was lacking iron in her diet.nnnI gave her all my wrinkled shirts.nnnAnd that's how the fight started."
"This year for Christmas, I asked for a new pair of scissors.... My old pair just wasn't cutting it!!!"