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Joke of the Day

"29 months? Yeah, no, I meant how old is your kid in HOURS."

"7 out of 3 people are bad at fractions."

"Look, mom, we can keep arguing about whether or not 28 is too old to live your parents but it's not gonna help us find my iguana any faster."

"Thought my Siamese twin was giving me the cold shoulder. Turns out he was dead."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff badum tss"

"You guys ever smear fake blood on your mouth, put on a ripped shirt, go in somewhere and pretend you got mugged? PEOPLE ARE SO NICE!"

"What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones."

"""Do you want to have fun but also get more mad than you've ever been in your life?"" - video games"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light-bulb? One to change it, thirty to write a book about it. :3"

"I don't mind hopping on the bandwagon every once in a while, but seriously, it's 2010. Buy a fucking car already."