71080

Joke of the Day

"Best year of my life! Last year was the best year of my life. Broke my neck and I have never looked back since."

"Added my sticker to the family on the back of your van I am in your family now you have to bring me to costco every time you go."

"I used to be a narcissist But now look at me"

"You're not fat. You're just... easier to see!"

"How do you piss off a female archeologist? Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from."

"The second I sense someone about to ask for a bite of what I'm eating, I immediately shove the whole damn thing in my mouth & look baffled."

"Age 15: kids are stupid Age 25: kids are stupid Age 35: I love my kids but kids are stupid"

"What is Donald Trump's favorite nation? Discrimination"

"what did Cindarella say when she got to the ball? {choking noises}"

"Showers: never want to get in, then never wanting to get out."