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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack? The lumberjack has a job."

"95% of the men's fashion budget on 'American Idol' goes to leather cuff bracelets and wallet chains."

"Just once I want to see a new parent post a baby photo on Facebook with the words: ""Still not sure if we like it, tbh."""

"If the Wu-Tang Clan started a cross-country shipping company, would you use them? Nah. Wu-Tang Clan ain't nuthing ta truck wit."

"I used to think Urethra was the name of a heavy metal band, until I found out it was actually a brand of vacuum cleaner."

"[1st day at Subway] Boss: u said u'd done this before Me: [painting myself in marinara sauce] I'm really more of an abstract sandwich artist"

"*Girl opens Xmas present* ""Why'd you get me carrots and lettuce?"" ""Wait but that means-"" *Hamster at home wearing glorious diamond earrings*"

"My dog has no nose. How does it smell? Awful"

"What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards? A receding hareline."

"My wife asked me how I could love her and still enjoy watching porn. I told her, I love my car but I still watch NASCAR"