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Joke of the Day

"[1st day at Subway] Boss: u said u'd done this before Me: [painting myself in marinara sauce] I'm really more of an abstract sandwich artist"

"My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it's cause I'm afraid she might try to poison me."

"Let me tell you about the first time I had sex... I was scared, it was dark, and I was alone."

"Why shouldn't you make jokes about dwarves giving fellatio? It's a bit of a low blow..."

"If you ever see a troll eat a fairy It's either time for rehab or you're on Reddit."

"A man posts a Joke on reddit It is not a repost."

"Know how I know I am getting laid tonight...? Because I am stronger than you."

"Oh I'm sorry.. I didn't know it was ""bring your feelings to work day""."

"I am absolutely exhausted from my French self-defense class. I've never run so far in my life."

"Do you know why one side is longer than the other when birds fly in a ""V"" formation? Because there are more birds on that side."