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Joke of the Day

"If I were really famous, I wouldn't even need body guards. These maxi pads promise me 10 hours of protection, each."

"I have a dog named Lucky... Sometimes he escapes so we have to go get Lucky. And sometimes it'll be dark out so we'll be up all night to get Lucky."

"Why did the train go left? Cause it couldn't get on the right track. I made that joke when I was little and remembered it today, might as well post it."

"Like a stoned man once said, I can't remember."

"The Pope just reaffirmed that Jews can go to Heaven Damn legacy applicants."

"Listing all my single socks on match.com."

"Did you know Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for christmas? He said it was the best book he's ever read"

"How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for him/her."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? ""How long have you been having this phantasy?"""

"I used to drive a Toyota.... .... But then I got a job."