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Joke of the Day

"How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for him/her."

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"Why should Ray Charles be a psychologist? Because he feels for everyone."
"Is it just me? Or does amy schumer look like sarah silvermann sounds?"
"Here it is, folks: ""Do imaginary octopi have ... (wait for it) (wait for it) PRETENDACLES?"""
"The local news says we can tell there's been a power failure with their new app. Call me old fashioned but the lack of lights tips me off."
"I'm not a psycoanalyst... but I metacrazy once."
"I had to change the battery in my clock. It was about time."
"Germanwings 'Knock Knock' joke. *Knock Knock* Who's there? *A Germanwings pilot* A Germanwings pilot who? **LUBITZ, LET ME IN GODDAMNIT, YOU'RE GONNA CRASH THE PLANE!!**"
"Black Jesus. Went to jail for you"
"I have a new alter ego named Princess of Optimism. You may call me Poo."