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Joke of the Day
"Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They're too hard to peel."
Next Joke
"[financial advisor] based on your income and savings you can retire at age 116 [me] *slips her $100* let's make it 112 [her] now it's 120"
"What's the longest word in the English language? A native Texan saying, ""Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt."""
"Donald trump already has a private jet he plans on putting in production for his presidency. He's calling it the hair force one."
"How did the redneck find his sister in the woods? Pretty hot."
"How did the astrologer cross the road? In his Taurus!"
"Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting. Until you realize you live alone."
"My girlfriend... I told me friend that I found a girlfriend. They laughed at me and told me she was imaginary. Now the joke is on them, turns out that they are also imaginary."
"What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner? Lettuce, pray."
"After moving to a boring part of the West, what did Sauron say when he spotted gaps around the threshold to his home? I need more door."