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Joke of the Day

"[financial advisor] based on your income and savings you can retire at age 116 [me] *slips her $100* let's make it 112 [her] now it's 120"

"I stole a Tom Cruise movie from the store the other day... It was Risky Business."

"I asked my brother why he was taking a dictionary and thesaurus to his theater rehearsal. He said it was a play on words."

"I like sleeping with amish women that way i don't have to call the next day"

"Chuck Norris can live on the dark Side of the moon............naked"

"Subreddit for cleanjokes? Anyone know of one? TIA"

"How I got over my procastination ... I will tell you later"

"What do a slinky and your mother in law have in common? They're both fun to watch tumble down stairs."

"Dating Fails: Just Tell Me What You Want And Be Done With It a guy asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat he guess shusi and anything else then got mad and raged the end"

"Why do Canadian women use hockey pucks instead of tampons? Because they last for 3 periods."