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Joke of the Day

"My name is Steven But the bank calls me Owen. Owen Lotts."

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"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. You don't need a lightbulb when you have a glass ceiling."
"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it."
"What do Japanese men do when they have erections? They vote."
"It's the 21st century, people. Why in the world do we still have mornings?"
"Just came up with.. Q: How do pirates like their jigsaws? A: In pieces of eight."
"According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me."
"Chuck Norris was the fourth wiseman... Who gave Jesus the gift of the beard. Which he rocked until the day he died. And three days after."
"My girlfriend got a tattoo of a shell on her thigh Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the sea."
"How come the only people who can open childproof lids are children? My nephew charges me two vicodin just to open the bottle."