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Joke of the Day

"My name is Steven But the bank calls me Owen. Owen Lotts."

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"Once you've seen one shopping center... you've seen the mall"
"Why did Pete Carroll find Marshawn Lynch in a tree? ""I'm just here so I don't get find."""
"Ruth and Johnny, side by side, went out for an auto ride. They hit a bump, Ruth hit a tree, Johnny kept going Ruthlessly."
"What do you call a sheep without legs? A cloud."
"Woman: Come over. Man: I am coming over. Woman: We should stop using walkie talkies in bed over."
"Batman threw Two-Face at my car, and now it has a Harvey Dent"
"A Polish man goes into the opticians... The optician says ""Can you read the letters on the board?"" ""Read them?"", he says, ""I know him !"""
"Brought Turkey home from the deli and my wife yells ""I asked for Ham!"" Sorry, wrong sub."
"The difference between a turtle and a politician... ... You feel bad after running over a turtle."