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Joke of the Day

"what do you call an animal that's neither a herbivore nor a carnivore?? an om-nom-nomnivore"

"What changes the more popular it gets Hillary Clinton's views"

"100% of the people that talk sh!t about your life, have sh!ttier lives than you."

"What is the most surprised a cow can be?? UDDERLY SURPRISED! (Edit: UTTERLY to UDDERLY)"

"My wife said: ""Can my mother come down for the weekend?"" So I said: ""Why?"" And she said: ""Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already."""

"Knock knock. Who's there? The Jews. The Jews who? Don't question us, that's anti semitic."

"What if animals were injured in the making of a film. would it say ''Tim hurt one monkey... he feels bad."""

"My ""Game of Thrones"" is just me running around the mall looking for a clean toilet."

"What's the technical term for a female-to-male sex change operation? A strapadictomy."

"I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables."