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Joke of the Day

"I was really upset today but then a friend said ""don't be upset"" so now I'm not upset anymore"

"If April showers bring Mayflowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims"

"If Facebook really wanted to entertain us, they'd make it a requirement for people to share their ""mental status"" in addition to each new status update."

"Hate to be that guy.... ... because he's a dick. Fuck him."

"What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever."

"If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you."

"[Wrench factory] BOSS: I'm proud to say it's been 250 days without an injury! WORKERS: *celebrate by tossing all the wrenches into the air *"

"What's the hardest part about winning crossfit? Being 5 foot 6"

"How to win an argument. 1. Have a vagina. 2. That's it. 3. You win. 4. Congratulations."

"Why did the little refrigerator salute the big refrigerator? Because he was General Electric."