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Joke of the Day

"What did the human call the bee after it stung him? An ass hole"

"What do you call a jazz musician without a girlfriend? Homeless"

"My hus thinks I'm getting up early tomorrow to go to the gym to get all sweaty. But what he doesn't know is that my ""gym"" is spelled ""Jim."""

"Did you hear that H.P. Lovecraft wrote a cookbook? It's called the Necronomnomnomicon."

"Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice."

"Bae: come over Me: can we ever have normal conversations Bae: my parents aren't home Me: why can't you just ask how good my day was for once"

"Are you feeling sluggish and tired? Constantly yawning throughout your day? There's a nap for that!"

"Why should you never trust an atom? They make everything up!"

"Spilled my bottle of sleeping pills, and now they're wide awake."

"I heard today that Stevie Wonder was getting a divorce, so sad he didn't even see it coming."