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Joke of the Day

"Horse trots up and says to mirror: ""why the long face?"" Mirror says ""It's okay, I'm just a bit reflective today."" I'll be here all week folks."

"My dad recently fell for one of those Nigerian prince scam emails. I feel bad for him but I really needed the money."

"Me: Sorry, I can't tonight. I already made plans. Him: That's too bad. There's going to be open bar and-- Me: What time should I be there?"

"I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me."

"Women think that they can do the same things as men... But they haven't successfully oppressed an entire gender"

"While the worker was talking about computer parts he made my motherboard"

"Just bought animal crackers and a kayak. I hate you Costco."

"[very obviously being hit on] hahaha ok well, see you around [4 days later, cutting open a cantaloupe] wait a second"

"Hot tip: Apparently it's frowned upon to make the sound effect tssst when being blessed by a priest"

"When is a door not a door? When it's a plank."