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Joke of the Day

"My friend asked me to name my top 5 Coldplay songs... And they were all yellow."

"A woman walked into a library and asked for a book on euphemisms. So the librarian took her up the rear aisle and let her have it."

"Brains are awesome... I wish everyone had one."

"I only have eyes for you. We sold out of skin swaths & teeth a couple hours ago. Last few eyes are in that bucket. (50% off bruised ones.)"

"I got pulled over for speeding So, I really don't have the patience to type this long ass joke on my phone, but my wife's a whore."

"The Post Office announced today that it is going to issue a stamp commemorating prostitution in the United States. It's a ten-cent stamp, but if you want to lick it, it's a quarter"

"I did some LSD and watched a candle burn all night. It was wicked."

"Two peanuts were walking down a dark alley... one was a-salted"

"How many goals did Germany score? A brazillian"

"What do you a pterodactyl that can't fly? Inosaur."