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Joke of the Day

"Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then you'd have to call them bagels."

"Whats this new apple product I keep hearing about? A: Whats this new apple product I keep hearing about? B: Which one? A: the I-sis"

"LPT: Always bring a deck of cards with you when you go hiking Joke: If you get lost, play some Solitaire. Soon enough someone will be around to tell you how to play your own damn cards!"

"Nurse: Would you like an appointment for next week? Patient: No I'm sick now."

"Apple announced a breast implant that plays music... The iTit is considered a major social break through since women have always complained that men stare at their breasts but never listen to them."

"I saw these two blind guys about to fight and I shouted, ""My money's on the one with the knife."" You should have seen how fast they both ran off."

"How do you know if an Asian person has robbed your house? When you come home, your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and they're still trying to back out of the driveway."

"[REQUEST] FAST! I'm trying to impress a girl by text. Send me your funniest jokes about potatoes. Anything having to do with potatoes. NSFW or not anything's fair game."

"On your deathbed tell everyone ""pray for me"" then make sure to leave a note to be opened after you die that says ""pray harder next time"""

"Batman based his superhero off what terrified him most. If I followed the same logic my superhero would be ListeningToVoicemailsMan."