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Joke of the Day
"Why do pirates love sunny weather? Because there's lots of AYE ARRR (IR) radiation!"
Next Joke
"Cow tipping is a myth. Cattle rarely tip even when the service is good."
"Why are hipsters such great assassins? Because they hide the bodies in places no one has ever heard of."
"What do you call a 100 year old frog? - What do you call a 100 year old frog? - An old croak! By: http://fun.fopii.com/"
"Got 45 minutes to kill? Watch a senior citizen put a key on a keychain."
"So this baby seal walks into a club ..."
"Me: *taps one-night-stand on forehead* Unfollowed. One-Night-Stand: It doesn't work like that... Me: *taps him on forehead again* Blocked."
"Mom: *tastefully decorates house* Kid: HERE ARE 20 MILK CARTONS I TAPED TOGETHER TO MAKE A SNOWMAN I EXPECT THIS TO BE PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED"
"[thinks about me petting a very cool dog] me: oh hell yea"
"After my date orders, I always tell the waiter ""Nothing for me..I'll be eating later"" Then wink at my date & raise my eyebrows suggestively!"