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Joke of the Day

"Why are hipsters such great assassins? Because they hide the bodies in places no one has ever heard of."

"I wont play GI Joes with my nephew until he learns to play it right. He's 4 years old, he should know better than to drag Vader into this."

"I got completely sucked into a three hour documentary about a toad. It was ribbeting."

"What kind of soda do dogs drink? Barq's Root Beer."

"I don't know what I'm more afraid of: killing myself or never doing it. Clowns definitely scare me the most, though."

"Planes are the bomb. Imagine the impact they had on 9/11"

"What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights? A Sir conference."

"This year's election is a joke. I for one, find it Hillary-ous."

"Survival Tip: if a bear comes at you, do not try to ""sweep the leg"". They've all seen The Karate Kid and learned how to defend against it."

"What's the difference between choking sex and necrophilia? About 5 minutes"