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Joke of the Day

"Got 45 minutes to kill? Watch a senior citizen put a key on a keychain."

"I asked my date if she'd ever done drugs. ""No,"" she said, taking a sip of her water. I said, ""Well, you have now."""

"""Mr. President, N. Korea is threatening to bomb your birthplace"" ""Why, there's nothing for them in Keny-"" ""HAWAII, sir"" ""Right, that's wh"

"My Indian friend taught me an authentic Punjabi dance. I've got some real Sikh moves."

"I'm not saying pregnant woman aren't attractive I'm just saying, It'd feel weird giving some random unborn child dimples."

"It has been brought to my attention that people stickers on car windows are NOT pedestrian kills,but family members. Removing mine ASAP."

"that awkward feeling. when you are sitting on the toilet and forgot to lock the door and your boss walks in... and your pants are up."

"I asked my Welsh friend how many sexual partners he'd had He started counting, but fell asleep."

"There is no 'I' in 'Denial'"

"Hate when I'm being chased by a shark and I make it to land, only to find out he's tied to the back of a tiger."