179629

Joke of the Day

"Cow tipping is a myth. Cattle rarely tip even when the service is good."

"I've recently admitted to being a masochist. The realization has been painful, but I like it."

"Why do people never eat clocks?.... Why do people never eat clocks? Because it's really time consuming."

"Johnny Depp dresses like a human dreamcatcher."

"I'm writing a book about Indian food... It's gonna be a naan-fiction."

"A father and son go fishing... Son: Dad, what do we do first? Father: We get this clickbait here and we throw it into the ocean. Son: Then what happens? Father: What happens next will shock you."

"I've created a new strain of marijuana called halal haze.. . It's so strong... It'll get you stoned to death."

"I need a car. Hiding in people's trunks and hoping they're going to Wal-Mart isn't working out for me."

"If it wasn't for Carpal Tunnel I wouldn't know when to stop masturbating."

"What has 100 legs but can't walk? 50 pairs of pants."