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Joke of the Day

"Had a very hot curry last night and now my asshole is on fire ... I'm suffering from deja vindaloo."

"What did the fruit say to the vegetable, at dinner? Lettuce Pray"

"How do you confuse a gay person? Seven"

"Rick Astley voted in the referendum. He's never gunna give EU up"

"What do you do if you're Fighting a group of circus performers? Go for the juggler"

"I've discovered the best way to get attention is to sit on the coffee table and meow loudly."

"So, I hear they're naming a new paint after you! It's called Whore Red. Not very Bright, but it's cheap and spreads really easily!!!"

"Celine Dion walks into a bar and the bar tender says ""Why the long face?"" To which she replies ""My husband and brother just died."""

"I'm sick of people blaming the Internet when someone gets killed. Watch the History Channel. Hitler didn't find the Jews on craigslist."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? TEN-tickles TEN-tickles! I find it funny how most people say eight."