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Joke of the Day

"I'm sick of people blaming the Internet when someone gets killed. Watch the History Channel. Hitler didn't find the Jews on craigslist."

"""It's okay, man. There are a lot of fish in the sea."" -Weird way to comfort someone whose nephew has just died."

"Somebody once told me in the middle of a huge machine gun battle that I always emphasize the boring parts of anecdotes, which made me sad."

"I share an office thermostat with a middle aged woman. I'm in a t-shirt while she's rubbing 2 pencils together trying to start a trash fire"

"I recently joined a nudist colony.. The first week was the hardest"

"/r/blackpeopletwitter is still dark /r/blackpeopletwitter"

"Why don't blind people go skydiving? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs."

"How do we know that Batman is black? He can't go anywhere without Robin'"

"Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me agin tomorrow on still fat Wednesday"

"On what day of every week do soft drinks sell the most? thursday"