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Joke of the Day

"I've discovered the best way to get attention is to sit on the coffee table and meow loudly."

"Thanks to Day Light Savings.... ....I've masturbated for an hour and 30 seconds."

"[The Second Coming] Jesus:""People of the Earth! I have returned with news of God's love an-"" Voice from the crowd:""DO THE WINE TRICK"""

"My Grandma said I have the voice for the radio... And the face for it too."

"Coldplay is like depression you can hear."

"Did you know there is a species of deer that can jump higher than the average house? This is due to its powerful hind legs and the fact the average house cannot jump."

"So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with but I've been tripping all day."

"9 Clowns in an elevator, one of them silently farts. One leans over to another and wispers...""You smell something funny?""."

"If jews had a planet I would call it Jewpiter"

"Whats does Copy pasta taste like? The same"