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Joke of the Day
"Everyone has a special talent, I like to think mine is ruining people's day."
Next Joke
"Made it to that level of dad where I just called dibs on the TV that I bought in the house that I own with the cable I pay for."
"If you ever catch me staring blankly during our conversation it's because I can't remember if it's my turn to say words or yours."
"Why was the fruit/vegetable hybrid upset? He was a melon-cauliflower."
"I'm tired.... I hear there is a nap for that."
"Why did the boy die? Because he ate honey nectar and then went to the store and tried to buy some mustard and got eaten by a Stegosaurus"
"Apples New Featured Release The Fappening."
"My friend can't wait for legalized euthanasia Seriously, the man is dying to not live"
"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Fish 24:7"
"A woman files for divorce from her husband... citing that he makes too many Star Wars puns. When asked if this is true the husband says, ""Divorce is strong with this one."""