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Joke of the Day

"Thank you, possum, for rustling outside the window when some show about serial killers is on. It really helped with my insomnia."

Next Joke
 
"Can we all stop pretending that alcohol tastes good?"
"It looks like I'm missing a lot of tweets. They were probably so great the Library of Congress just couldn't wait to archive them."
"What's the difference between Jesus and Mexicans? Jesus doesn't have any tattoos of Mexicans."
"What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt? The codpiece he made out of his girlfriend's face."
"2 pedophiles are chilling on the beach, one says to the other... Hey can you get out of my son"
"I'm not racist but... Your hair looks gorgeous. ""How is that racist?"" I said I wasn't racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."
"If the universe were not absurd, would it make sense? squid"
"*Pulls up to drive-thru window* ""Extra toilet paper please"" Do you mean napkins? ""Sure, whatever"""
"Have you heard my unemployment joke? Yeah, it needs a little work."