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Joke of the Day

"A rather bold robber... Broke into the local police department and stole all of their toilets. Cops report that they have nothing to go on."

"My girlfriend told me that if I were a tree, she'd want me to be a Christmas tree so she could spruce me up I told her she'd probably be a huge birch"

"I like dating chicks with kids, because snacks"

"How can you tell if a person is vegan They tell you the minute you meet them"

"Why is the pussy slit verticaly and not horizontaly? So it doesn't clap when running."

"What is Peter Pan's favorite place to eat? Wendy's"

"What's the dating scene like at MIT? Carbon-14 is the most common method, I believe."

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot"

"If you love someone... Bury them in your backyard so no one can find them. Then you'll have them FOREVER! *looks out window & smiles*"

"Wish I wasn't raising my kids in an era where mediocrity was celebrated."