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Joke of the Day

"Since the pharmacy keeps making it harder to buy decongestants, I've just started making them at home from crystal meth."

"Somebody asked me if I was the Michelin man. It must be my *at-tire*."

"What kind of underwear does a person wear when buried? Fruit of the tomb"

"People always talk about starting families... But no one ever talks about finishing what they started."

"Way into ""Game of Thrones"". Are there any shows that are games of other kinds of chairs?"

"My wife claims watching me do karate ""isn't foreplay."" Why am I even alive."

"Beauty is only skin deep... but it sure looks good on the ladies."

"Always identify who to blame in an emergency."

"Did you hear Donald Trump's plan for combatting global warming? Nuclear winter"

"Why did the light turn red? You would too if you were caught changing in the middle of the street!"