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Joke of the Day
"Somebody asked me if I was the Michelin man. It must be my *at-tire*."
Next Joke
"If you're getting annoyed, you might throw up your hands out of frustration. If you're a cannibal, you might throw up someone else's hands out of your stomach."
"Don't dress like a hoe and expect a guy to approach you like a princess."
"I met a dwarf the other day... He was a pretty average guy; a little mean"
"My dad wanted to name me, ""Rusty,"" if I was a boy. Thank you, X chromosomes."
"Why wouldn't you ask the zebra for music advice? Because he only knows about The White Stripes."
"Dave drowned So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. It's what he would have wanted. (Gary Delaney)"
"Manchester United"
"How many immature people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 69."
"I hope Death is a woman.... That way it will never come for me."