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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma so fat, the closer you get to her, the slower time passes for you in relation to an observer outside her gravitational pull."

"Fell asleep next to a beautiful woman I met last night. I tell you what, she was PISSED to wake up next to a stranger... And that goes double for her husband."

"What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time..."

"I was just scammed out of 25 dollars. I purchased a dvd titled ""Tiger Woods' favorite 18 holes."" It turned out to be about golf. Tell others so that they can avoid this scam too!!"

"Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. It's simple meth."

"""Hey bro can you leave me some of the snack? You're eating way too much."" I said ""sure"", then proceeded to put the cat down."

"Why is a woman like a KFC? After your done with the thighs and breasts all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in."

"I did it Reddit! I finally did it! I finally made it to the front page!"

"[wakes up from a 72-year-long coma] oh nazis are still a thing huh"

"If guys were smart, they'd forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food."