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Joke of the Day

"[At vet] Me: My dog has been throwing up what looks like egg shells. Vet: What have you been feeding him? Me: Egg shells."

"What does a ninja and a muslim woman have in common? They're both invisible."

"*Frankenstein arrives with his monster at a bodybuilding contest* ""Oh, you meant... you meant it like... ugh. Well that was a waste of time"""

"What's the worst thing to hear after you have sex with Steve Buscemi? ""I'm not Steve Buscemi."""

"what did the cemetery dude say when he buried the wrong guy? i made a grave mistake"

"Why was the redditor banned? Voat manipulation."

"I thought reverse psychology was when you made your therapist cry"

"What lights up a football stadium ? A football match !"

"I am feeling very optimistic, but I bet it won't last."

"I walked past a field of cows at 3 AM and saw that they were all wide awake. I said, ""Surely it's pasture bedtime?"""