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Joke of the Day

"I used to buy second hand ballet equipment from ebay I still do but I used tutu."

"Two crows are in jail. What are they in for? Attempted Murder"

"My wife and I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went But then it dawned on us."

"Who created the first diswasher? God, and her name was Eve."

"Somehow,, We've got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under."

"Bob: Did you hear about the camper who was killed by a garter snake? Betty: That's impossible. A garter snake is not poisonous. Bob: It doesn't have to be if it can make you jump off a cliff!"

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him. How do you catch a tame unique rabbit? Tame thing.... You unique up on him too."

"What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand? They think long and hard before they touch weiner."

"I'd like my headstone engraved in Burger King font."

"Open heart surgery? No, just rip it out."