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Joke of the Day

"I want a sand timer with ground spices instead of sand That way when it starts to run out I can say, ""Oh no, I'm running out of Thyme!"""

"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said Are you going to help?' I said No, six should be enough.'"

"When people ask me why I got into drumming I always tell them it's because really enjoy beating off in front of crowds"

"What do you call a natural blonde who dies her hair? Artificial intelligence."

"A bomb went off in an ink factory... Everyone Dyed."

"Waiter: May I take your order? Yes, roll over and play dead! Waiter: It's not that kind of order. Oh. Sorry. I'll have the cheese sticks."

"I was tickling my brothers feet last night, when my mum woke up and asked me to stop. Apparently I should wait until he is born."

"My girlfriend's extremely flexible, which comes in handy for sex. I say, ""when do you wanna have sex?"" and she replies ""I'm free whenever""."

"Why do you only need one egg in France? Because one egg is un oeuf."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Chip ! Chip who ? Chip of Fools !"