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Joke of the Day

"I was tickling my brothers feet last night, when my mum woke up and asked me to stop. Apparently I should wait until he is born."

"It's the story of Zip the penguin. It's a penguin, walking happily on the ice, and.... Ziiiiiiip the penguin!"

"A seal walks into a club."

"My arms sometimes get tired during sex and I drop my phone on my face."

"Why did the zombie not eat your brain? Because he doesn't eat junk food."

"Is Google male or female? Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion."

"What do you call a bossy kitty? A pushy cat"

"What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Obama? A CORNservative."

"She said, ""I want you to make love to me so badly."" He replied, ""And that's exactly what I'm going to do."""

"How many teachers does it take to change a lightbulb? Well I'm not just going to tell you. You need to figure it out yourself."